think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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