Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Chuck_Bass_FTW hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night

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(914): View more from New York

Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos

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(231): View more from Michigan

Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!

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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING

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(239): View more from Florida

Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.

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