Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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