4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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