I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
