I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
