When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
