Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
your room smells of hookers.
And success
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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