I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
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The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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