Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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