He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
