so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
