I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You have to summon your inner elephant
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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