the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
