Fuck appropriateness.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
