at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
