So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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