you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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