We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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