I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
