can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
