God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
