SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
