I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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