This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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