i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My ATM looks so different sober.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
