Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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