Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
