do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize