i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
