hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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