i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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