I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
