either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So vagazzling was a success
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
