he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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