Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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