if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
