Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
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he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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