Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
