You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
