Only a mothe r could love this liver
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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