I don't remember. Are we still dating?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
