he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Did you pee in the oven last night??
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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