I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
