I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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