I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize