Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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