next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize