hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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