I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
