So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
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i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
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Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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