I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
