Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
