dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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