Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
