So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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