just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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