So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
