She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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