It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
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We have so much sex to catch up on
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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