worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
