I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
