No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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