Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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