Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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