That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
